Dear God..

I am usually the individual that says "it will all work out" or "god has a plan for everything" and the age old "this too shall pass". Right now, I don't know if any of those are true. (well, I know God has a plan for everything) Cory is being discharged from the Air Force. I'm not going to get into details because at this point, they're not even worth it. But, this has sent this normally planning and competent mommy into a tizzy. I won't lie, I'm panicking. Yes I can and do plan on figuring it all out, but to be honest I feel like I'm doing it all alone. My husband (whom I love dearly) is kind of taking the "God has a plan, and He's leading us down it" mentality which I do admire, but that is just it - BUT. But our kids need certain things, BUT we have to have a roof over our heads, BUT we need to be able to eat, BUT we need to be able to make the Car payments, BUT we need to be able to survive.

I'm a firm believer that God helps those who helps themselves and I'm trying to help myself by encouraging my husband to look at other avenues that would allow him to pursue his calling into the ministry and allow us to provide for the girls. I truly, TRULY believe that he should be looking into joining the army in order to provide for the girls, have the military PAY for seminary and give me time to get my LPN while the girls are taken care of. However, my husband believes differently. He truly believes that God is showing him that his time in the military is done. He truly believes that God will provide for us while he is enrolled in seminary. I want to believe that. I want to trust in God to provide for us. I want to trust my husband's judgement that getting out of military completely and enrolling in seminary is the right path for us.

I keep praying that God will give me the strength to trust in my husbands' judgement. I keep praying that God will speak to both of us and show us the right path and allow us both to be at peace with that decision. All I know is that I am absolutely terrified that this crossroads in our lives is going to have lasting impact on our daughters and on our marriage. My grandfather always said to "Let go and Let God" and I am truly trying to. However, "God helps those who help themselves". Dear God, please, please help us.