the language of music

I adore music, I can't live without it in my house. There aren't words to say how much music has influenced my life. Driving around on base you have probably seen me jammin along to music and looking like I'm having some kind of seizure. Music has gotten me through some of the hardest times in my life. I was raised listening to all sorts of music from classical Bach and Mozart to Jazz like Bobby Short and Bing Crosby. I loved MoTown and Aretha Franklin, Erin Cunningham. Of course I went through the late 80's early 90's phases of NKOTB, Ace of Base, Wilson Phillips, Boys to Men. In the late 90's and since there have been the horrible tradition of Boy Bands like 98*, Backstreet Boys and NSync. I was really introduced to modern country after I married my husband. He bought me a NOW Country CD.  I was so afraid, I won't lie. I was exposed to country when I was much younger, but it was more of the banjo picking, backwoods steely fingers on a chalkboard sounds. Not to say that it didn't have it's appeals, but I was listening to it with individuals who hated it.  I gave the hard rock sound a listening to, but it was never something I really liked.  I did like Green Day, but that didn't last too long after "Dookie".  (My mom thought it was an environmentalist group CD). 

In the early 2000's I enjoyed Christian Rock. I still do enjoy it, but I don't listen to as much as I did before I married.  When I married my husband, I think I married country music. Don't get me wrong, he enjoys alot of pop and harder rock music. I do love alot of pop/modern rock music.  I listen to pretty much anything I can understand. (Which is why you don't see RAP music listed).  I respect the roots of "Rap" music, but not the vulgarity and cussing that is often heard in it.  I do like Usher, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, Black Eyed Peas, Gwen Stefani (and No Doubt) and yes, you do hear "rap" in some of their music, but not to the extent that you do in others. I love listening to new songs and older artists.  Today, alot of "new artists" are remaking older songs.  Like the song "Keep On Lovin' You".  I can't recall who originally recorded it, but the new country duo "Steel Magnolia" has re-recorded it.  I LOVE both versions.  I love that the new duo has paid alot of respect to the previous artist.

There are so many songs that have touched my life for different reasons. I believe that you are brought into things when you need them, and for one reason or another, certain songs play on the radio when certain thoughts are racing through my mind. That song will bring back memories and I'll find myself remembering the good past, and not the nagging racing thoughts. There is one that I have been listening to alot lately. When anniversaries of lost loved ones come around or I hear of a loss of a friend or their loved ones, I listen to the song and it just helps to ease the edge of the hurt. It's called "Address in the Stars" by Caytlynn and Will.  I've posted it on my blog before. There's one particular verse that always catches me by surprise no many how many times I have listened to it. "Oh it breaks my heart, to cry these tears in the dark, I write these letters to you, but they get lost in the blue, cause there's no address in the stars".  Yes, it does sadden me to think of the lost loved ones, but it also reminds me that they are looking down on us.  I can't remember where I heard the story but I remember a line in it that stars are just little windows from heaven so our angels, our loved ones can see us when we pray for them or ask them for guidance.

I also love classic hymns. "Amazing Grace", "How Great Thou Art", "On Eagles Wings", and countless other hymns that send peace through my heart. I'm not a woman of great faith by any means. It's a true daily struggle for me to believe that God is a part of my actions and life. I have a very hard time believing that God has a place for me in His heaven. It's through music though, that I can and do believe He speaks to me. God has allowed me to evolve into a mother, wife, friend, and He will help me to grow into a stronger role model of faith for my daughters. I won't pretend that my faith is something that I work on daily or even weekly, but I do believe, without question that God knows my heart whether I open it to Him or not. He knows my struggles, weakenesses, thoughts and strengths.

I have to beleive that regardless of how much I grow or don't grow in my faith that God will continue to speak to me through music and allow me to be whomever it is that He is leading me to be.